The next step...

Today I did something that I have not done in a few weeks. I put on professional attire and attended an event where I met and spoke with other professional adults. Before the business closed I attended events like these all of the time. As a matter of fact I attended so many of them that I really stopped listening to whatever the speaker was talking about and was usually trying to tactfully check my Blackberry while appearing to be paying attention. I had lost my passion for meeting and connecting with people. I was working all of the time and the idea of balancing work and a personal life was a joke. I thought that the more I worked, the more successful I would be and the more successful I was the less I would need to work. The truth of the matter is that the more I worked the more the company grew and the more the company grew the more I worked.

At about 10:00 this morning I was sitting at my computer. I was aware of the clock counting down the time until I needed to dressed and in my car heading to the program. I was dealing with more demands related to the loss of the business and I was feeling pretty uneasy about trying to pull myself together and mingle with lucid adults. I came up with a few reasons why I could miss the event but a voice in my head wasn't having any part of it. I got dressed, I put the address in my navigation system and I headed out.

While I was driving I listened to a cd-rom that someone loaned me about boundaries. Not a particularly captivating topic, my mind began to wander. I wondered when the last time was that I wore the slacks, sweater and heels that I had on.  I tried to remember what life was like before the business closed; I'm not sure why, I think I just wanted to reconnect for a few moments with the "me" that enjoyed success prior to the fall. As I did, though, I paused and thought about all that I had accomplished since the closure. I am half way through an MBA program. I have set up a functional consulting firm. I moved my children back to the beach where we are closer to my parents and our extended family. I am writing a book. I am training for a 10k that I am walking in with two lifelong friends next month (I actually had to train for a 6 mile adventure because my physical activity for the past few years was limited to walking from the car to the office). I am present in the lives of my teenage children and we have had dinner together every night for the past four months. I have learned to survive (and thrive) on some very limited financial resources. I began to realize that those very things ARE successes! They are every bit more successful than anything that I accomplished at the business. I adjusted my perspective and I celebrated my accomplishments.

I encourage you to take a moment and identify your recent successes. Listen, I'm not going to trivialize the events that led you here. They are/were horrific. We'll recognize and deal with the loss. We'll work on the healing. I just want you to take a moment and recognize your recent efforts. The successes could be in the form of an organized garage or linen closet; improving the nutrition in your home because you have more time to prepare healthy meals; learning about a subject or reading a book that you would not have had time to do if you were working; maybe just capturing an opportunity to rest. You accomplished those things and I want you to pat yourself on the back. Too often we beat ourselves up over the events that caused the downfall of the business and we tend to lump our personal selves and our professional selves together in that process. Let's make a diligent effort not to do that from here on out. Let's recognize and celebrate our accomplishments as we navigate through these next steps. There are great things on the horizon.